


flash thompson's underwear

by orphan_account



Category: Ultimate Spider-Man (Cartoon)
Genre: M/M, negative vibes Peter, out-there in the whole plot thing, sarcasm and wit, things luke really didn't want to know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-30
Updated: 2014-05-30
Packaged: 2018-01-27 14:50:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1714514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam kept talking while Ava looked over at Peter, who thought for a moment that she was going to say something redeeming. Nope. "What are your statistics?" she asked, tilting her head up to look behind her. "Ninety percent of your saves are ladies who can't hold onto their purses? Not that that's bad, helping them," she said quickly. "But saving Thompson from danger would definitely break your streak." She narrowed her eyes at him, catlike.</p>
<p>Peter cracked. "Flash Thompson doesn't need saving! He's a bully! Honestly- I wouldn't kiss him if my life depended on it," he said somewhat dramatically, finishing off the dishes with not a little unnecessary volume.</p>
<p>"That's interesting," Danny commented.</p>
            </blockquote>





	flash thompson's underwear

It was quite frequently that he wished Aunt May hadn't let the team stay at their place. Not that they didn't have good times, going off on missions and coming back in the nick of time before their disappearance was noted, or sitting around the living room playing video games and talking. But today wasn't, thus far, anyway, one of those days.

Peter wondered absentmindedly just how long it took to build a helicarrier. S.H.I.E.L.D. really ought to have a few on standby, he figured, considering their track record. He blew air through his lips rather than sigh. They had hope. Maybe the next one wouldn't blow up, or sink, or whatever else somebody could think up.

"No," Sam was saying across the table, leaning forward into the circle and using too many hand gestures, "but I really saw it!"

"Flash Thompson?" Luke echoed, raising his eyebrows. Peter started paying attention to their conversation again, curious, as he poured milk into his cereal bowl.

"I guess if anyone would be running around in Spider-man underwear it'd be him," Ava said, looking ready to roll her eyes. She bit into her toast with all the quiet fierocity of a beast.

"That is true," Danny noted. He calmly watched Peter struggling not to choke on his orange juice. "Need help?" he offered after a moment, the same blank expression still across his face. His teammate shook his head vigorously, finally managing to swallow.

"Could we not discuss this at breakfast?" At least Aunt May wasn't here; she was off camping with her friends on some big adventure somewhere. "Contrary to what you might think," said Peter, gesturing with his spoon, "I don't really want to know who or what is wearing my licensed boxers. At breakfast," he added meaningfully.

"That _is_ contrary to what I might think," Ava started before Sam cut her off, raising his eyebrows at Peter.

"Oh, they weren't boxers," he continued, and Peter choked again, trying very hard not to picture Flash Thompson in briefs. "They were really cute, with webs all over the back and your mask on the-"

" _I_ didn't need to know that either," Luke said pointedly, tilting his head towards Peter. He didn't talk as much as the rest of them, at least during breakfast, and Peter was more than a little thankful for that.

"It was funny," Sam insisted, ignoring it when Danny kicked his foot under the table.

Peter shook his head and concentrated on the bowl of Cheerios in front of him. "Consider me an expatriate of this conversation," he said, attempting to shut the rest of them out. It was quiet for a moment, with Sam talking about something else to Ava, apparently having gotten bored, at least for a moment, with the previous subject.

Then Danny said, rather thoughtfully, innocently, "I can sort of see it," and that got the whole thing started again.

Ava looked up. "Huh?"

"Flash and Spider-man," Danny replied with a shrug. Peter could see out of the edge of his vision Sam gearing up again.

"I didn't need to know _that_ , either," Luke cut in with more emphasis, but Sam just laughed. Already seeing that this wasn't going to end well, Peter hastily got up to deposit his bowl in the kitchen sink. After considering it, he figured he'd start washing the dishes, too. He set about doing so noisily, trying to ignore Sam's ongoing tirade.

"-and after you guys kissed for the first time he wouldn't be sure all of a sudden if his man-crush on Spider-man was really a man-crush or a crush-crush and he'd be thinking-"

"Dear Lord," Peter was murmuring, mentally hitting his head on the wall. "Dear _Fury_."

"-of course, all this crazy stuff would happen before you got together, what with all the villains and such you'd be fighting-"

Nope. He was not going to school today.

"-when you did he'd be getting shit from people and he'd realize for the first time in his life what it's liked to be shoved into a locker and he'd start to become a nicer-"

Sam kept talking while Ava looked over at Peter, who thought for a moment that she was going to say something redeeming. Nope. "What are your statistics?" she asked, tilting her head up to look behind her. "Ninety percent of your saves are ladies who can't hold onto their purses? Not that that's bad, helping them," she said quickly. "But saving Thompson from danger would definitely break your streak." She narrowed her eyes at him, catlike.

Peter cracked. "Flash Thompson doesn't need saving! He's a bully! Honestly- I wouldn't kiss him if my life depended on it," he said somewhat dramatically, finishing off the dishes with not a little unnecessary volume.

"That's interesting," Danny commented.

\----------------------------

Peter stared at his wrist communicator through the eyes of his mask, not sure what emotion he was supposed to be expressing. "You're kidding, right?" he said, but Coulson's face on the screen did not kid. Unfortunately.

"The Trapster left some sort of detonation device in the cafeteria and yes, now it's in Flash Thompson's mouth. Stuck." This sorely needed a joke but Peter stayed quiet. "We think it's the same device recently stolen from one of our labs that's based off of, well, your DNA. The only way we know to stop it is with your saliva," Coulson said, his blank expression hiding what Peter knew to be a hell of a lot of things he wasn't ready to mess with. "Midtown High is in your hands, Peter," he finished, and the screen went blank.

He hated it when the principal had to go out of town for a meeting.

"Don't. Even. Say it," Peter said to his silent teammates through gritted teeth. He adjusted his mask and sent out a line of web fluid, using it to swing through a broken window in the school cafeteria. (Why was it always the cafeteria?) He found Flash immediately, standing somewhat apart from the rest of the students. For once, he didn't look haughty; in fact, he appeared almost scared. He wasn't even geeking out over Spider-man swooping in, which was probably a sure sign of it.

Peter was going to send the Trapster's ass to jail for _years_ after this. Without saying anything, he marched over to his classmate and pulled up his mask as he did so, only enough, of course, to reveal his mouth. He grabbed Flash by the waist and pulled him in, yanking their bodies together, then, without bothering to explain, pushed his mouth onto Flash's. He didn't care to show any mercy in the kiss, only lengthening it to make sure his saliva found its way in to mix with Flash's. When it did, there was a click, and a little computery device fell to the floor. Flash coughed, staring at Peter, at Spider-man, with wide eyes. No, scratch that, everybody was, and Sam had his camera phone out again. Which was just great.

Peter picked up the device off the floor and tossed it at Sam through the busted window. He pulled his mask back down over his chin and started off, pausing only to say "Fixed it" because it seemed like no one had realized yet that he'd saved the freaking day. Flash kept looking at him, so he saw it appropriate to make his exit a quick one and ignore it. This had never happened. Never ever. He was denying the moment's existence when he realized how far he'd traveled away from school, away from everyone else. He came to a stop at the edge of a rooftop, his feet skimming the edge.

He thought about it objectively for a moment before going back. Was it the start of something, that thing that had happened? Was Flash hopelessly in love with Spider-man now? Was the very social hierarchy of high school altered now? No, no, and no. It had been nothing.

He started back toward Midtown High, and for a second he thought quite sincerely, regardless of all his objections against it, that he hadn't minded the kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> So maybe it's far-fetched but it's Marvel so maybe that's alright~ :1


End file.
